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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saying Goodbye...

Well, she's gone.

Brenda and Jesse left yesterday afternoon for their journey to New York where they got transferred.

I've known it was coming for a long time and still didn't quite believe the day would ever come. Brenda and I had both been avoiding the whole "goodbye" thing for a long time, not really bringing it up or if it did come up changing the subject.

At one point we even decided that we would not see eachother when they were leaving, that we would text and say bye and avoid the pain and heartache.

Well at the last minute or so we decided we'd meet for a coffee at Starbucks in the BX, that was the first mistake... saying goodbye in public. We (Brenda, Jesse, the boys and I) sat and visited, avoided why we were all there in the first place until we couldn't any longer. I had to go, my boys were hungry, the dogs needed to be let out etc etc. We stood up and I walked away to throw away trash and the boys went and hugged Brenda and Jesse really tight. Then Jesse was closer to me so I hugged him told him I hated him lol and as I looked at Brenda we both had tears in our eyes.... we hugged and it went from quiet tears to gasping for breath. It went straight to "ugly cry" very quickly. We pulled back, I made sure I knew the boys were right next to me, I hugged her quickly again and made for the exit as quickly as possible.

I could hardly see anything through tears streaming down my face. I just wanted to get to my truck, which I had parked not so closely so that was annoying. I rushed me and the boys to the truck, got them in and buckled, sat down and let completely loose. I lost it, in a big way. Tristan actually ended up unbuckeling his belt and climbing up to hug me. He's such a sweet sensitive boy. I explained why I was crying and why it was ok so he wouldn't be worried.

Ugh, I'm just going to miss her so bad. She is one of my very best friends, if not the best. We were like sisters since the day we met. It was always more than just a friendship. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. We have so many amazing, fun memories. We went through a pretty rough patch for a while but the only thing it ended up doing was bringing us closer. I dont know what I'm going to do without being able to just drive to her house.

Love you Bren!!!!

Here are some pics from the day we said goodbye, the next day when they left I met them at the gas station for one more hug and then some past memories of our fun :)





Now the past pics...
























2 comments:

Wilson/Gideon said...

I am so sorry Brenda had to leave. I know what she meant to you.

Oterofamfour said...

your words totally made me cry! I am sorry you havd to say bye to your Bestest friend I have been there before, younger of course but still the same! But now you have an excuse to go to NY right? lol I hope you are doing ok. xoxo