Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Anyone need a tent?

I kept trying to remind myself to post about this, but, well we all know about my memory :)

A couple weeks ago at church the pastors wife spoke about something that really touched me. It really made sense and I wanted to share it with everyone. I'm going to try my best to remember it all but I'll probably leave something out.

The "sermon" was basically about living your life in a way that was completely devoted to God, and to keep our positive outlook and our positive mind so that bad things couldn't slip in and take us over.

She spoke about a past Sunday about herself where they did a prayer group after church. And she left before the group gathered and went home. And on her way home she felt bad for not being a part of the group and "wanting" to be there. And she prayed and tried to figure out what her deal was. Why was she in a funk? She kept replaying her last week trying to figure out where she went wrong, why she was feeling uncaring about being a part of something she usually loved!

Well as she prayed she got the vision of a tent. And the message she got was that sometimes we need a tent, that tent is our resting place. Sometimes there is so much going on and you fight so hard for whatever your life is bringing your way and you deal with so much, that sometimes we need to rest. Now she made a point to also say "don't spend TOO much time in that tent or else you'll get lost in the anger or bitterness and it's hard to come back from".

As soon as she explained what the tent meant, I sat there with Jacob on my lap and Tristan sitting next to me and bawled. I completely lost it. Because for me, I have so many times that I just wish I could find the darn tent. My personal experience relating to this mostly has to do with my illness. It seems as though I fight and fight and fight the disease, I fight the doctors, I fight the nurses, I fight the medication, I fight the symptoms, the side effects etc etc etc. And I just need to rest sometimes. Her lesson really spoke to me that day, it's like she was giving me a personal talk about bitterness and anger and not letting that enter your head because you haven't taken the time to rest and refresh yourself and be ok with everything.

I am sure everyone can relate to this in some way. Everybody struggles with something!

So I want to say rest, go into the tent and lay down for a bit. Take a break, breathe, relax, refresh and then get up and start over. I learned its ok to rest, and take a break from the "battle", then go back and live again.